The Very Cheesy Affair
by The True Face of the Baital
Summary: Every story about Dr. Two-Brains and Lady Redundant Woman as a couple compiled into one big fanfiction! Featuring updated versions of stories I've already written plus some brand-new stories. Enjoy! DTBxLRW
1. Chapter 1: A Disastrous Date

A Disastrous Date

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. Copyrights of PBS, Soup2Nuts, and Scholastic.

It was just another Friday afternoon in the laboratory lair of Dr. Two-Brains. Normally Dr. Two-Brains would be telling his henchmen about his latest cheese-related evil scheme, but today was different.

Normally Two-Brains would be yelling at his henchmen and laughing maniacally about getting his paws on some cheese, but today, he seemed to be in a good mood. In fact, Dr. Two-Brains seemed to be humming a tune to himself as he combed his crazy white hair and brushed his mousy teeth.

The henchmen were surprised. They had never seen their boss in such a good mood before. "What's going on, boss?" asked the unnamed henchman, who wore a red beanie. "Oh nothing, henchmen, I'm just getting ready for my date." "Date?" asked the henchman, "with who?" "That doesn't matter! Now get back to work!" Dr. Two-Brains suddenly snapped. "O-Okay, boss", Two-Brains' henchman said, backing away in fear.

"Boy, that was weird. First the Doc was all happy, and now he's mad again. He sure seems desperate to let his date go well", the unnamed henchman said to his friend and fellow henchman, Charlie. Charlie only whispered in response. "You said it, Charlie" said the henchman.

Meanwhile, Dr. Two-Brains was muttering to his reflection in the mirror. "Okay, Two-Brains, you can make this work", he said to himself. "This is your first date with her, but you can control your urge for cheese for a few hours". Dr. Two-Brains continued to mumble to himself until the clock struck 5:00. "Oh no!" cried the evil doctor, "I'm gonna be late!" He rushed to his closet (which usually held his different lab coats and gloves) and found some clothes, which he quickly put on before getting his wallet and rushing out the door. Once outside, he went into his truck and took off, while his henchmen watched from the window. "Gee, Charlie, looks like we're all alone" said the unnamed talking henchman.

After driving around the city for minutes, Dr. Two-Brains finally came to his destination; the apartment lair of his date, the villainess Lady Redundant Woman. "I'm here!" Two-Brains said to Lady Redundant Woman. "Okay", she replied. "Let's get this show on the road, path, and lane!" Dr. Two-Brains was wearing the biker's garb he wore at the grocery store as "Dr. Cool-Brains", back when he tried to outdo Steve McClean. Lady Redundant Woman wore one of the dresses she stole back when she planned to become the Belle of the Triple-Dip Ball. As far as villains went, they looked like a very nice couple. Two-Brains escorted his date into his car, and then he got in, and they drove off to the restaurant where -Brains had their dinner reservation.

Now, since Dr. Two-Brains and Lady Redundant Woman were both villains, they couldn't just go to a regular restaurant, where someone would see them and turn them in to the police. Instead, they booked a reservation at Evil Eats, a restaurant that catered to villains. The villainous couple were let in by the doorman, who happened to be Big Left Hand Guy. "Table for two, please", said Dr. Two-Brains. "Of course, right over there", responded Big Left Hand Guy, who pointed to the reserved table with his giant left hand, hailing a taxi cab outside in the process. As Dr. Two-Brains and Lady Redundant Woman went to their table, they ran into The Butcher. "Butcher?" asked Dr. Two-Brains, "what are you doing here?" "Oh, hey, Two-Brains. I'm eating here too", replied the meat man. "Hey, isn't she the lady who looks like Dupey?" asked The Butcher, noticing Lady Redundant Woman at Two-Brains' side. "Yep, affirmative, you betcha, and aren't you that meat guy who kept showing up at the same places I was planning to rob?" said Lady Redundant Woman to The Butcher. "Why do you have to be so mean?" asked The Butcher. "The fact that we robbed the same place is just a contrividence." "You mean coincidence?" asked Two-Brains. "Oh, yeah, that's what I meant", said The Butcher. "Well, enjoy your date, guys."

As soon as The Butcher was out of sight, the villainous couple sat down at their table, looking at their menus. Pretty soon their waiter came. He was none other than Chuck the Evil Sandwich-Making Guy. "Hello, and what would you two like to eat tonight?" asked the villainous sandwich chef. "I'll have the grilled cheese sandwich, and what would you like" said Dr. Two-Brains, turning to his date. "Oh, I'll have the ham and cheese sandwich platter, please and kindly" said Lady Redundant Woman. "Coming right up", said Chuck.

Just then, the doors burst open, and a little boy with blue clothes and a crown on his head came in. It was the Royal Dandy. Noticing his creator, Lady Redundant Woman, sitting with Two-Brains, the living painting ran towards her, yelling "Mum! Mum!" Confused, Dr. Two-Brains asked his date "Mum?" "It's a very long story, but I am not his mom!" said Lady Redundant Woman. "You must be my dad", said the Royal Dandy, turning to the evil doctor. "Now wait just a minute there, kid", said Two-Brains, "I don't know what is wrong with you, but she is not your mom, nor am I your dad. Now get lost!"

Hearing this, the Royal Dandy became heartbroken and started crying and whining. The noise was so loud that every villain in the restaurant could hear, and was staring in shock and awe. "I think we should go", whispered Dr. Two-Brains in his girlfriend's ear. "Affirmative, agreed, certainly", said Lady Redundant Woman The two quietly crept out of the restaurant before anyone could notice them.

When they were out of sight, they stopped. "You know, Lady Redundant Woman", said Two-Brains, I know this may have been embarrassing for both of us, but I just wanted to say..." "What?" asked Lady Redundant Woman. "I think you're a wonderful person, and this was a good time for us to get to know each other. I love you", whispered Two-Brain's in Lady Redundant Woman's ear. "I love you, too", she said back.

The two embraced each other and locked lips together for a moment, but Lady Redundant Woman quickly broke out. "What is it?" asked Dr. Two-Brains. "Oh, nothing", said Lady Redundant Woman. "I just now realize how my duplicate Dupey felt. When The Butcher and I kept fighting over the same artifacts were were planning to steal, my copy Dupey fell in love with him. I would not allow it, but now I realize what must be done."

Dr. Two-Brains watched his girlfriend touch her nose, summoning Dupey. "I know I've been really harsh on you, Dupey", she said, "but now I know how you felt when you wanted to be with Butcher. You and him can be together." Dupey just smiled and nodded at her mistress, and came into the building. The Butcher was still surprised by the ruckus that happened earlier, but when he turned around, he recognized someone he knew. "Dupey?" asked The Butcher, "is that really you?" "Yes, Butcher, it is", replied Dupey. "But I thought you broke up with me because you were a veggieblarian", said The Butcher. "Yes, but I got to thinking", began Dupey, "who cares if we have different eating habits? Love is unconditional, regardless of qualities, or eating habits." The two skipped towards each other and gave each other a hug and a kiss, now reunited after a long time.

Moments later, Dr. Two-Brains had parked his car at Lady Redundant Woman's lair. As she got out of the car, he asked "So, another date next Saturday?" "Only if you think we should", said Lady Redundant Woman with a smile on her face.

Epilogue:

Dr. Two-Brains' henchmen were back at the lair playing Go Fish, waiting for their boss to come home. Suddenly, Dr. Two-Brains walked in. "So how was your date, boss?" asked the unnamed henchman. "Oh, it was nice", replied the two-brained villain quietly.


	2. Chapter 2: Sometimes When I'm Down

Sometimes When I'm Down

Disclaimer: I don't own. Copyrights of PBS, Soup2Nuts, and Scholastic.

On a dismal, rainy Saturday evening in Fair City, Dr. Two-Brains and Lady Redundant Woman sat inside Dr. Two-Brains' abandoned warehouse lair. Today had not been a particularly good day for either of the two villains.

Dr. Two-Brains had lost his cheesefizz ray while at the grocery store and almost got caught by WordGirl three times that day, and twice Lady Redundant Woman forgot her ink cartridge, so she was unable to summon her duplicates. And later, when Two-Brains and Lady Redundant Woman tried to go on a date, wherever they went, police cars were parked, waiting to catch the two super-villains.

The criminal couple sat moping for several hours, until Two-Brains finally spoke up. "You know, Lady Redundant Woman, when I'm down, I go on a cheese crime spree to make myself feel better." "How will that help?" asked Lady Redundant Woman. "We'll still get caught, captured, and apprehended by that pesky WordGirl." "You know what?" said Dr. Two-Brains. "I have a better idea. How about some bagels with cream cheese?" "I love, adore, and really like bagels with cream cheese!" exclaimed Lady Redundant Woman.

Quickly, Dr. Two-Brains opened the refrigerated chamber that housed his private cheese stash. It contained all sorts of cheese, from rare, stinky, 140-year-old Limburger, to plain old cream cheese. The mousy scientist grabbed a tub of cream cheese along with some blueberry bagels. He then set it down at the table where he and Lady Redundant Woman were moping, which was the same table where Two-Brains' henchmen usually played card games like Go Fish.

As the pair sat and devoured the bagels eagerly, Dr. Two-Brains thought of something. "How would you like to hear a song?" he asked. "I didn't know, recall, or cognize that you could sing. Why not?" said Lady Redundant Woman.

Dr. Two-Brains got up on the stage where he usually drew out his plans on his blackboard, wearing the barbershop quartet outfit he wore at the City's Centennial Festival, and he began to sing the same song he sang at that event and afterwards in jail to the other villains:

Sometimes when I'm down

(My town, my town!)

I think about this old town

(My town, my town!)

And then I'm happy as a clown

Because I know I've got my old town

The people are friendly, they wave and smile

Oooooo, oooooo, oooooo

I think I might stay and chat awhile!

Impressed by Two-Brains' melodious singing voice, Lady Redundant Woman applauded cheerfully. "That was melodious, lyrical, and very tuneful!" she said. Dr. Two-Brains returned to the table, where Lady Redundant Woman gave him a kiss on the cheek. Both villains smiled. Maybe today wasn't so bad after all, because no matter how down they were, they still had their old town. And each other.

The End


	3. Chapter 3: Malicious MashUps Part 1

WordGirl in Malicious Mash-Ups

Disclaimer: I don't own. Copyrights of PBS, Scholastic, and Soup2Nuts

Vocabulary Words: Jealous, Volunteer

It was just another beautiful day in Fair City. Tim Botsford had signed his daughter Becky (a.k.a. WordGirl) into a Junior Zoo Keeper program at the City Zoo, the same place where Chuck (as the Handsome Panther) tried to set the panthers free and where Granny May framed an elephant for stealing peanuts from visitors. However, the sign-up line was long enough to leave father and daughter at the zoo's entrance waiting in line. "Dad", said Becky, "I love animals as much as the next kid, but why are you signing me up as a Junior Zoo Keeper?" "Well Becky", said Mr. Botsford, "I worked on Saturdays as an apprentice for Richard the Zookeeper, plus you'll be getting to work with more manageable animals, such as your favorite, ponies." "Ponies! Oh boy!" exclaimed Becky excitedly, causing some strange faces to come from the crowd. Becky and Mr. Botsford shamefacedly went back to standing in line. "Plus", continued Mr. Botsford, it'll be a great opportunity to…er…" "Volunteer?" insisted Becky, thoughtfully. "It means to freely offer to do something, in this case work as a Junior Zoo Keeper." "Oh, okay", replied Mr. Botsford.

Meanwhile, in the County Jail, Dr. Two-Brains was sitting in his lowly prison cell, adjacent to that of Lady Redundant Woman. The two villains had gone on a date once, and had taken a liking to one another. They seemed to be conversing between the walls of their confinement. "So after I break us out of prison, how would you like to volunteer for a team-up?" asked Dr. Two-Brains. "I'd love to, but how will we escape, get away, and make a break for it?" said Lady Redundant Woman. "Easy", responded Two-Brains. "I have super-gnawing abilities and can chew through walls." The evil doctor proceeded to gnaw his way through the walls separating his cell from that of his girlfriend, and then gnawed a hole through the main prison wall, allowing the pair to escape. Dr. Two-Brains blew Lady Redundant Woman a kiss afterwards, to which she smiled, and the two villains walked off, cackling evilly to themselves.

At the warehouse that Two-Brains made his lair in, his henchmen were, as usual, playing Go Fish while wondering when their boss would come home from the shackles of incarceration. "Gee, Charlie", complained the unnamed henchman, "the Doc sure is taking longer to come home than usual." Just as those words were out of his mouth, there was a loud noise as Two-Brains tunneled through the floor of the warehouse. "I'm home!" he said, giving his henchmen a hug. "So how come it took longer to get out of jail?" asked the unnamed henchman. Both of Dr. Two-Brains' minds flashed back to when he and Lady Redundant Woman had adjacent cells, and he was trying to get her to volunteer for a team-up. Embarrassed, and slightly blushing, the sinister scientist told his henchmen "Beats me. I guess they must have finally gotten stronger bars."

"Yeah, right", said the henchman sheepishly, "you're blushing, boss. You're in love!" "What, no!" exclaimed Two-Brains. "The boss and his girlfriend sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" sang Dr. Two-Brains' henchmen. Understandably irritated, the doctor covered his ears and waited out the teasing. Once it was over, he pointed to both of his minions and said "Listen, boys, after this mission is over, you two are both grounded! You're just jealous because you will never get a girlfriend in your life!" The unnamed henchman and Charlie trembled in fear. As soon as Two-Brains was out of sight, the unnamed henchman grumbled to himself and Charlie, "Humph, jealous, yeah right."

Meanwhile, in the apartment lair of Dr. Two-Brains' former #1 fan Glen Furlblam, Glen was explaining a plan of revenge to Steve McClean, Two-Brains' other rival. He had crudely drawn out his plan on a blackboard similar to the one Dr. Two-Brains drew out his evil schemes on. "And so", explained Glen, "this is how we are going to get revenge on our common enemy, Dr. Two-Brains!" Unfortunately, Steve wasn't paying much attention to Glen's plan to begin with, because he was too busy sweeping the floor of Glen's room. "Um, what are we going to do again?" asked Steve in his usual nebbish voice. Understandably irritated, Glen did a facepalm, sighed and said "Okay, Steve, here's the plan. We're going to follow Dr. Two-Brains to his next crime spree, and then commit his planned crime before he has a chance to do so, and steal all of the credit for his crimes! He'll be so jealous! Mwa-ha-ha-cough! And now to carry out our ingenious plan!"

Moments later, Dr. Two-Brains and Lady Redundant Woman were wreaking havoc in the city. First, Lady Redundant Woman cleared stores of money, and then Dr. Two-Brains turned the buildings into cheese with his Cheddifier Ray. So far they had turned Ye Olde Fancy Schmancy Jewelry Store, the cheese shop, and the Second Main Bank into solid chunks of cheddar cheese. However, Exposition Guy and his wife were taking a stroll nearby. "Oh no! Dr. Two-Brains and Lady Redundant Woman are turning the city into cheese!" he yelled. "I think we might be done for!" "Well, what are you waiting for?" asked his wife. "Go out and tell the police. I'll stay right here and wait for you." "Okay, sweetie. Help!" And with that, Exposition Guy ran off screaming for help as usual.

Meanwhile, in the waiting line at the zoo, Becky, Bob, and Mr. Botsford were halfway between the zoo's entrance and the zoo offices building. Just then, Exposition Guy ran by screaming "Dr. Two-Brains and Lady Redundant Woman have teamed up and are now turning the buildings into cheese! Oh where, oh where is WordGirl when you need her?" "Why are you telling us?" asked Mr. Botsford. "Isn't this the police station?" asked Exposition Guy. Mr. Botsford just sighed. He was beginning to wonder why Exposition Guy could never find the police station. Noticing her cue to transform into WordGirl and fight the evildoers, Becky tried to come up with an excuse to leave the line. "Um, dad". began Becky, "Bob and I are going to go for a walk, to... wait for the line to move faster." "Okay, guys, hurry back", said Mr. Botsford. As soon as they were out of view of anyone who might be watching them, Becky told Bob, "Come on, Huggy. Word up!"

To be continued...


	4. Chapter 4: Malicious MashUps Part 2

WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face took to the skies, searching for any evidence of Dr. Two-Brains and Lady Redundant Woman in the area. "See anything yet?" WordGirl asked Huggy, who was using binoculars to scan the city for clues. "I don't see anything yet", Huggy chirped. As he looked closer, he noticed something else. It was a skyscraper that had just been turned into cheese. Huggy squeaked in alarm, alerting WordGirl. "That building's been turned into cheese!" gasped WordGirl. "They must not be far behind."

On the ground, Dr. Two-Brains and Lady Redundant Woman had just turned ten buildings into cheese. "Now we have enough cheese, and enough money", said Dr. Two-Brains to Lady Redundant Woman. "This is the best collaboration ever!" "Yes agreed, affirmative, it is", said Lady Redundant Woman, nodding in agreement. Both of the villains laughed evilly. At that moment, WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face swooped down. "Hold it right there, Dr. Two-Brains…and Lady Redundant Woman!" yelled WordGirl. "Did you guys team up?" "Yes, we did, WordGirl", replied Two-Brains, "and we're unstoppable!" Dr. Two-Brains then walked up to Lady Redundant Woman and hugged her. Both of them smiled, but WordGirl was just grossed out. "Eww", she said, "first The Butcher and Dupey turn my show into a soap opera, and now you guys? What is this, a mush-fest?" Dr. Two-Brains and Lady Redundant Woman ignored WordGirl and continued snuggling.

As soon as they were finished, Lady Redundant Woman touched her nose multiple times and summoned her duplicates, and Dr. Two-Brains and his henchmen pointed the Cheddifier Ray at WordGirl. "Give up!" shouted Dr. Two-Brains. "You're surrounded, confined, and outnumbered!" added Lady Redundant Woman. "No, _you're _surrounded, confined, and outnumbered!" shouted another voice. It was Glen Furlblam and Steve McClean. They had noticed the cheesy buildings in the area and were hoping to steal the credit for Two-Brains' crimes. "Glen Furlblam and Steve McClean? Working together?" inquired the evil doctor. "You know, recognize, and recall these guys?" asked Lady Redundant Woman. "It's a long story", Two-Brains explained. "Glen used to be my number-one fan, but then he tried to outdo my crimes, and Steve McClean once tried to replace me as the city's number-one villain." "That's right, and now, we're gonna get our revenge!" exclaimed Glen. "Let's go get them, Steve! Steve?" As usual, Steve wasn't listening because he was busy cleaning. "Steve!" yelled Glen. "Oh, right. Let's get them!" said Steve.

"I thought that you might want to know that I upgraded the blackout ray that I stole from you so that it also steals electricity from objects", explained the conceited wannabe villain. As Glen fired his ray, Dr. Two-Brains fired his Cheddifier Ray, both to deflect his ray and to turn Glen's weapon into cheese, rendering him powerless. In a strange turn of events, Two-Brains' ray was de-electrified and Glen's stolen blackout ray was turned into cheese. "Okay, we surrender", said Glen. With that said, WordGirl tied up both groups of villains. Dr. Two-Brains was tied up with Lady Redundant Woman, and Glen was tied up with Steve. "I guess your plans both failed now that you guys are all tied up", said WordGirl.

"Henchmen! Help me!" cried Two-Brains. The unnamed henchman just scoffed and said "Don't look at us." Noticing the henchmen being grouchier than usual, WordGirl turned towards them. "Why so glum, henchies?" she asked. "Oh, it's the boss. He pays more attention to Lady Repeats-Herself than to us", replied the talking henchman. "Oh, I get it, you guys are jealous", said WordGirl. "Jealous?" asked the henchman. "When someone is jealous envious of someone else", explained WordGirl, "it means that they are envious; they want something that that someone else has. In this case, you guys were jealous of Lady Redundant Woman because Dr. Two-Brains was paying most of his attention to her." "Oh, I get it", said the henchman. "Look, henchmen", began Dr. Two-Brains, "I am sorry for not paying much attention to you today, and I am sorry for grounding you. I just didn't want you guys to know that I liked someone, and I was kind of harsh on you today. I just want to tell you that no matter what, you will always be my henchmen." "Aww, thank you boss", said the henchman. "We just want to say that, to us, you're not just our boss, you're also like a father to us." With a smile on his face, Dr. Two-Brains squeezed one of his gloved arms out of his bindings to give each of his two henchmen a hug. "Aww", was all Lady Redundant Woman could say at Two-Brains and his henchmen. As the police took Dr. Two-Brains, the henchmen, Lady Redundant Woman, Glen Furlblam, and Steve McClean all off to the County Jail, WordGirl smiled and said "You know Huggy, even though they're evil, at times they can also seem like ordinary people with families."

Mr. Botsford was still waiting in the line and was almost at the door to the zoo offices, when Becky and Bob walked to right behind him. Surprised, he said, "Oh, hey you two. What took you so long?" "Uh, we ran into traffic on the way back", said Becky, who was trying to come up with an excuse. "Thanks for keeping our spot in line for us." "You're welcome, Becky", said Mr. Botsford.

And so, with Dr. Two-Brains and Lady Redundant Woman together behind bars, WordGirl yet again saved Fair City as we know it, and made it to the Junior Zoo Keeper program. Join us again next time for another incredible fanfiction of WordGirl!


	5. Chapter 5: Cheesy Cheesy Bang Bang

Cheesy Cheesy Bang Bang

Disclaimer: I don't own. WordGirl and its characters are copyrights of PBS, Scholastic and Soup2Nuts. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang belongs to its creators and rightful owners.

Sung by Dr. Two-Brains and Lady Redundant Woman

Lyrics: (to the tune of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang)

Cheesy bang bang, cheesy cheesy bang bang

Cheesy bang bang, cheesy cheesy bang bang

Cheesy bang bang, cheesy cheesy bang bang

Oh, you, easy cheesy bang bang

Cheesy cheesy bang bang, we like you

And with, cheesy cheesy bang bang

Cheesy cheesy bang bang, what we'll do

First we'll, come up with a plan and find a lot of cheese to steal

Bang bang cheesy cheesy bang bang, our fine holed yellow meal

Bang bang cheesy cheesy bang bang, our fine holed yellow meal

Dr. Two-Brains: You're sweet as some cream cheese spread

Lady Redundant Woman: Sharp as a cheddar wedge

You'll make _everybody's_ head go round

Dr. Two-Brains: We'll cut up the cheese tonight

Lady Redundant Woman: In the glow of the moonlight

Two villains in our old hometown!

Oh, you, easy cheesy bang bang

Cheesy cheesy bang bang, we like you

And with, cheesy cheesy bang bang

Cheesy cheesy bang bang, what we'll do

First we'll, come up with a plan and find a lot of cheese to steal

Bang bang cheesy cheesy bang bang, our fine holed yellow meal

Bang bang cheesy cheesy bang bang, _**our fine holed yellow meal...**_


	6. Chapter 6: A Disastrous Double Date

**A Disastrous Double Date**

Disclaimer: I do not own. WordGirl and all of her characters are copyrights and trademarks of PBS, Scholastic, and Soup2Nuts.

One week after Malicious Mash-Ups...

One foggy Saturday evening in the lair of Dr. Two-Brains, the evil doctor was playing his organ (with some back-up notes from Edam, one of the members of his personal mouse orchestra). He was just finishing the last notes of the song he was playing, but before he could, Edam squeaked the last tunes.

"Wow, Edam", said Two-Brains, "your performance has greatly improved. You weren't even a little flat. This calls for a reward."

Dr. Two-Brains pressed some buttons and opened his refrigerated cheese safe. He reached in, grabbed some Edam cheese, and gave it to Edam. "Here's some cheese, Edam", he said. The rodent eagerly ingested the cheese.

"That was great, boss", Two-Brains' nameless henchman said, clapping his hands alongside his buddy Charlie. "Well, I didn't do it alone; Edam here really livened it up", replied the cheese-craving criminal, petting the mouse as he spoke.

Suddenly, Charlie whispered to his coworker and pointed at the clock. "Um, boss", said the unnamed henchman, "you're gonna be late." "Oh, that's right", said Dr. Two-Brains. "I have a date with Lady Redundant Woman and we even booked a reservation at Evil Eats! Why am I standing here? I've got to get ready!"

With that said, the multiple-brained villain rushed to his bathroom to get ready. As soon as Two-Brains came out, he looked like a whole new mad scientist. His pigment-less hair was combed in a short ponytail, he wore a white suit with pink buttons and a red necktie, and he had sprayed himself with Eau de Cream Cheese deodorant. In one hand, he was carrying three Gruyere-scented flowers, all of which looked identical to each other.

"See you later, henchmen", Two-Brains said, waving. His henchmen waved back. "See you later, boss!" As soon as he was outside, the mousy villain got into his van and drove off.

It wasn't long before Dr. Two-Brains got stuck in traffic. "Aw, I knew I should have taken my blimp", he complained. Angry and frustrated, he honked his horn at the car in front of his, which happened to belong to world-reknowned cheese master David Driscoll, whom the evil doctor once attempted to abduct to help make his Cheddar-Provo-Swiss Super Cheese. Before either of them could start talking trash, however, the traffic stopped, and both vehicles continued moving on the road.

After about half an hour, Two-Brains finally arrived at the apartment of his date. He knocked on the door, and out came Lady Redundant Woman, wearing a dress the same shade of purple as her usual outfit.

"Greetings, Lady", said Dr. Two-Brains in a suave tone. "Greetings, salutations, and hello, Doctor", replied Lady Redundant Woman. "Here, I got you some flowers", said Two-Brains, handing the redundant villainess the cheese-scented flowers. "They're so fragrant and aromatic", she said. " "Oh, stop", said Two-Brains, blushing. "So, are you ready for our date?" "Yes, affirmative, you bet!" said Lady Redundant Woman with enthusiasm. The two villains got into Two-Brains' van and rode off.

A while later, they came to Evil Eats, the restaurant where they had their first date. As usual, they were let in by Big Left Hand Guy. "Two-Brains and Lady Redundant Woman?" he asked. "I haven't seen you guys around here in a while." "Well, Lefty, we did get caught by WordGirl last week", replied the two-minded scientist. "It's a good thing you guys escaped then. High-five!" said Big Left Hand Guy, raising his humongous left hand, hailing a taxi in the process. "Oh, not again", thought Lady Redundant Woman. "So, we booked, saved, and conserved a reservation here", she continued. "Oh, yeah. Well, two other villains also booked the same reservation as you guys. I'm afraid you'll have to share tables. Sorry", said Big Left Hand Guy, with a hint of regret in his voice.

"Share tables?!" exclaimed Two-Brains. "With who?" "I guess you'll just have to wait and see", said Big Left Hand Guy, winking. As Dr. Two-Brains and Lady Redundant Woman went closer to the table, they suddenly gasped and came to a stop. Sitting at their reserved table, before their very eyes, were The Butcher and Dupey.

"What are you two doing here?!" asked Dr. Two-Brains and Lady Redundant Woman, simultaneously. "Oh, Dupey and I booked this restelation", replied The Butcher. "So did we, and the word is _reservation_, Butcher", said Lady Redundant Woman. "Look, Butcher, Lady and I booked this reservation first, so _we_ get to sit here", said Two-Brains. "Well, Dupey and I got here before you two did, so _we_ get to sit here!" argued The Butcher.

As the three villains argued, Dupey began to nervously back away. "I have a better idea, a greater notion, and a superior suggestion", began Lady Redundant Woman. "Since all four of us have this table reserved, and neither group will back down, surrender, and give up, why don't we go on a double date?"

Will Dr. Two-Brains and Lady Redundant Woman go on a double date with The Butcher and Dupey?

If they do, will it go well for all four villains?

These questions should probably be answered in the next exciting chapter of The Very Cheesy Affair!


	7. Chapter 7: A Disastrous Double Date 2

**A (not-so) Disastrous Double Date: Part 2**

Disclaimer: I do not own. WordGirl and all of her characters are copyrights and trademarks of PBS, Scholastic, and Soup2Nuts.

When we last saw Dr. Two-Brains and Lady Redundant Woman, they had booked a reservation at Evil Eats, only to find out that The Butcher and Dupey had beaten them to it. Since neither group would give up the table to the other, the four villains decided to go on a double date.

"A double date?" asked The Butcher. "What's that?" "A double date is when two couples go on a date in the same places at the same time, on the same occasion, and at the same moment", explained Lady Redundant Woman. "Oh, well, okay then", said the meat-wielding villain. "Um, Lady", whispered Two-Brains, "I need to talk to you for a moment." Two-Brains and Lady Redundant Woman walked to a corner in the restaurant. "Do you really think it's a good idea to go on a double date with those two?" Dr. Two-Brains asked his date. "Believe me, Doctor, I'm as worried, concerned, and anxious as you are", said Lady Redundant Woman, "but The Butcher and Dupey reserved the table too, and they won't give it up either. Besides, Dupey's one of my copies, my duplicates. Also, if Butcher mispronounces a word, we'll both be here to correct him." "Good points. Let's do this", replied the evil doctor.

Dr. Two-Brains and Lady Redundant Woman walked back to the table they shared with Dupey and The Butcher. "Okay, let's get this show back on the road", said Two-Brains. Just then, Chuck walked by, ready to take villains' orders. "Hey guys. What would you all like this evening?" "I'll have the salami sandwich, with salami, please", said Lady Redundant Woman. "I'll have the grilled cheese sandwich with a side of macaroni and cheese, Chucky-Baby", said Dr. Two-Brains. "I'll have the triple-meat sandwich, Chuck", said The Butcher. "I'll have the vegetarian sandwich, please", said Dupey, who was the last to order. "Coming right up", replied the evil sandwich guy.

As soon as Chuck was out of sight, Two-Brains inquired "So how can you tell Dupey and Lady apart anyway, Butcher?" "Well, for one thing, Dupey is always smiling, plus, she's spe..." Before The Butcher could continue, he noticed Lady Redundant Woman glaring at him, with her arms crossed and her shoulders raised. "Er, moving on..." said The Butcher, with a scared look on his face. Luckily, before any fighting could break out, Chuck returned to the table with the villains' orders. "Here you go, guys", he said. All four villains began devouring their dinners. "Mmm. For an evil sandwich-making guy, Chuck sure makes good-tasting sandwiches", said Two-Brains in between hearty bites. "He sure does", agreed Lady Redundant Woman.

Since Chuck's sandwiches tasted like a piece of heaven (or whatever the villain equivalent of it was) on Earth, the two couples ate slowly, taking the time to enjoy their meals. After about twenty minutes, they had all finished eating. "That was a wonderful, marvelous, and amazing dinner, Doctor", said Lady Redundant Woman, in an unusually relaxed tone. "It sure was", replied Two-Brains, dreamily.

Just then, Chuck had returned with the bill. When he asked how they would like to pay, The Butcher said "I would like to pay for not only myself and Dupey, but also on behalf of Dr. Two-Brains and Lady... Something-Something. Do you take meat checks?" With that, he took out his pen, scribbled on a piece of meat in his checkbook, and handed Chuck a check made out of pate de fois gras. "Uh, sure. I can use that to make more sandwiches. Thanks, Butcher", said Chuck. "Don't worry, Dupey, I'll make a veggie checkbook just for you", said The Butcher, turning to his date. "Oh, Butcher", replied Dupey, blushing. "I really should make a cheese checkbook. It would come in handy on future cheese heists", thought Dr. Two-Brains.

Minutes later, the four villains were ready to go. At the entrance/exit, Big Left Hand Guy asked "So how did you guys enjoy your 'double date'? "Oh, it was good", replied Two-Brains. Just like he did moments before the double date started, Big Left Hand Guy waved his hand, signaling a taxi, this time intentionally. "Oh, that's fine, Big Left. We'll be carpooling", said Two-Brains.

After leaving Evil Eats, Two-Brains went to his van and got into the driver's seat. Lady Redundant Woman got into the front passenger seat with him, and The Butcher and Dupey squeezed into the back seats. As the van started to take off, it came to a sudden stop in the road, this time by a person. "What is the meaning of...Glen?!" Dr. Two-Brains said as he got out of his van. Glen had seen the vehicle nearby and would not allow his former idol to have a good evening. He stood in the middle of the road, disguised as a crossing guard. "That's right, Dr. Two-Brains! You're not going anywhere!" he gloated. "Oh _really_?" asked Two-Brains. "You do realize I have company, right?" Lady Redundant Woman stepped out and began pressing her nose, summoning two of her copies to help her beloved battle Glen. Dupey and The Butcher also joined in, with The Butcher calling a storm of fried chicken to incapacitate Glen. "Fried chicken fling!" he yelled. The villains left Glen Furlblam tied to a lamppost outside of the police station for the police to take care of later.

After driving for minutes, the quartet finally came to the park. Unfortunately, a freak rainstorm rolled in at that very moment. "Don't worry, I brought along two umbrellas", said Dr. Two-Brains, showing his companions two mouse-shaped umbrellas. The mousy villain and his redundant date used one umbrella, while The Butcher and Dupey used the other. They enjoyed a lovely stroll to an elegant fountain in the middle of the park.

"This was a lot like our first date, Lady Redundant Woman", said Two-Brains. "It sure was, Dr. Two-Brains", replied Lady Redundant Woman. "Aw...", said The Butcher and Dupey in unison as they kissed. "You know, they look so sweet together", said Dupey. "Yeah, they do", replied The Butcher. Soon The Butcher and Dupey themselves kissed, getting a similar reaction from Dr. Two-Brains and Lady Redundant Woman, but with some added conversation. "I can't believe a few years ago, I wouldn't even let Dupey be with The Butcher. They seem, look, and appear to be almost as happy, cheerful, and joyful as us", said Lady Redundant Woman. "Yeah, they do", replied Two-Brains.

As soon as that was over, they all went back into Two-Brains' van and rode homewards. First, Two-Brains dropped off The Butcher at his lair, and then he dropped off his girlfriend and her duplicate at their apartment. "So next week, what do you say we go apple-picking together?" asked Dr. Two-Brains. "Just you, me, and my henchmen." "That sounds good, fine, and nice", replied Lady Redundant Woman, who blew Two-Brains a kiss. As he went back to his van, he blew her a kiss back.

In some parts, this double date may have been disastrous, but it was also nice in some parts, and all four of the villains ultimately enjoyed the outing.

Join us again next time for another stupendous chapter of The Very Cheesy Affair!


	8. Chapter 8: Apples to Apples to Cheese

**Chapter 8: Apples to Apples to Cheese**

WordGirl in "Apples to Apples to Cheese"

Today's featured words are "expedition" and "pilfer".

Disclaimer: I do not own. WordGirl and her characters are copyrights and trademarks of PBS, Scholastic, and Soup2Nuts.

It was a cloudy, yet peaceful Sunday morning in our fair city. Dr. Two-Brains' two henchmen were sound asleep in their bunkbeds: the nameless henchman with the red cap on the bottom bunk, and his friend Charlie on the top bunk. Apart from the henchmens' snoring, the room was quiet and tranquil, until...

"Rise and shine, henchmen! Time to wake up!" Dr. Two-Brains was shouting unusually enthusiastically through his mouse-themed megaphone to wake his henchmen up. Somewhat shaken, both henchmen got up. "We're up, boss", the unnamed henchman said, yawning. "What is it?"

"You know how you guys wanted to go apple-picking after breaking me out of prison?" asked Two-Brains. "Yeah. You used the trip as another means of stealing cheese", said the henchman. "True, I did use my Cheese Seizer to seize the town's cheese during our outing at the apple orchard, but after tasting cheese and apples, it felt like heaven", said Two-Brains. "So how about we go on another apple-picking trip that doesn't involve cheese-seizing? Afterwards, we'll dip the apples in some fondue when we have enough." All three mens' mouths watered at the thought of cheese-dipped apples.

"Okay, boss, let's go", replied the unnamed henchman. "In a minute, in a minute", said the evil doctor. "First you two need to get dressed, then we need to get our apple-picking equipment, and then we need to drive over to pick up Lady Redundant Woman." "Um, boss?" said the henchman with no name, "how come we're doing that last step?" "Well, henchmen", said Dr. Two-Brains, "last week I invited Lady Redundant Woman to join us on this apple-picking expedition." "You didn't run it by us", said the henchman. Both the unnamed henchman and Charlie were somewhat shocked that their boss didn't tell them prior to this day. "Don't worry", said their boss, "you guys will be able to do what you want, and I'll be able to do what I want. It's a win-win!" "If you say so", replied Two-Brains' second-in-command. "But no time for small talk, boys, because we have an apple-picking trip to plan!" exclaimed the multiple-brained mad scientist.

Meanwhile, at the Botsfords' house on 78 School Street, the Botsford family was also planning an apple-picking expedition on the very same day.

Becky "WordGirl" Botsford, her younger brother T.J., their mother, District Attorney Sally Botsford, and their pet monkey Bob "Captain Huggyface" were all sitting at the kitchen table, when their father, Mr. Tim Botsford, came in, just as elated as Dr. Two-Brains was earlier.

"Hey gang!" said Mr. Botsford. "How would you all like to go on an apple-picking expedition? It's for an old family recipe: Old Granny Botsford's Dutch Apple Pie Delight!" "Um, Dad?" asked T.J., "what is an expedition?" "An expedition is a trip undertaken by some people with a certain purpose. In this case, our dad is planning an expedition to pick apples for the Dutch apple pie delight", replied Becky helpfully. "Thank you, Becky", said T.J. "You know, even though you're not as cool as WordGirl is, deep down, I am glad to have you for a big sister", he said. "Thanks, T.J.", said Becky. "Okay kids, enough shilly-shally. Time to pick some apples!" said Mrs. Botsford, ecstatically.

Moments later, Dr. Two-Brains and the henchmen had driven to the apartment lair of Lady Redundant Woman. Two-Brains rang the doorbell. It made the exact same ringing noise three times. "Hey, boss, how come the doorbell made the same noise three times?" asked the unnamed henchman. "Well, she _is _Lady _Redundant _Woman", replied the mousy villain. Just then, Lady Redundant Woman stepped outside, dressed in her usual purple and teal outfit. "Lady!" exclaimed Dr. Two-Brains. "Doctor!" exclaimed Lady Redundant Woman. They gave each other a loving hug. "Aww..." remarked the henchmen. "So, are you ready for our apple-picking rendezvous?" asked Two-Brains. "Yes, indeed, and certainly", said Lady Redundant Woman. The four villains got into Two-Brains' van and headed for the apple orchard. However, unbeknownst to either of them, Glen Furlblam had been spying on them from behind the apartment.

"So the good doctor and his redundant girlfriend are going apple-picking, are they?" said the villainous wannabe. "Well, I wouldn't count on it. I'm going to pilfer every apple in the orchard so that they both come home empty-handed! Maybe they'll even get into a fight about the apples and break up! Ah-ha-ha-cough!"

Later, at the apple orchard, the Botsfords were greeted by the apple farmer, Johnchap Seedyple.

"Howdy, folks", greeted Mr. Seedyple. "Welcome to my apple orchard. So what brings you guys here today?" "Oh, we're gathering apples for use in a family recipe", replied Mr. Botsford. As he said that, Mr. Botsford looked up at the sky, smiling. "Sounds wonderful. Enjoy your visit", said Mr. Seedyple. Shortly after that, Dr. Two-Brains, his henchmen, and Lady Redundant Woman came to the orchard. "Hello, remember me?" said Two-Brains to the apple farmer. Becky and Bob turned around. "Dr. Two-Brains and Lady Redundant Woman? What are they doing here?" asked Becky, rhetorically. Bob only squeaked in response. "Yeah, I remember you", Mr. Seedyple said. "You and your henchmen went apple-picking, but you also had plans to seize the city's cheese with your cheese magnet." "Oh, don't worry", said Two-Brains. "We don't have any stuff like that with us this time. We're just going to pick some apples to dip into fondue." "Okay. Well, have a nice day", said Mr. Seedyple, waving, a little spooked by this two-brained man and his companions.

Just after Two-Brains, Lady Redundant Woman, and the henchmen had entered the orchard, Glen Furlblam arrived, with a sinister look on his face. "Uh...hello?" Mr. Seedyple said to Glen, a little nervous. "Oh, hi. Don't mind me. I'm just here picking apples just like the people who came here before me", said Glen. "But I'm also going to pilfer their apples and pick a fight between them", he mumbled under his breath.

In a distant corner of the orchard, Dr. Two-Brains, Lady Redundant Woman, and the henchmen went to work picking apples. The henchmen took two ladders, which happened to be the only ones they had brought, as well as two baskets, and immediately began picking the fruits straight from the trees. "Now what are _we_ going to do?" Two-Brains asked his beloved. "I only brought two ladders." "Don't worry, Doctor", said Lady Redundant Woman. "This is where the ability to duplicate, to copy oneself comes in handy." With that, she began touching her nose, summoning three copies for her and Dr. Two-Brains to use as a ladder. The couple climbed the tree and started to pick apples.

One hour later, all four of the villains had filled their baskets with apples, and they were all exhausted. "That apple-picking sure was laborious, exhausting, and tough work", said Lady Redundant Woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. "Yeah, but at least we have enough apples to make our apple fondue", said Two-Brains. "Plus, while we were picking apples, I happened to find three identical apples." The sinister scientist beckoned to his henchmen, who gave him three identical, almost redundant apples, which he handed to Lady Redundant Woman. "If you turn them over, you'll see that I also carved a love heart on each of them." Lady Redundant Woman turned each apple over, and found out that they did indeed have love hearts on them. "They're beautiful", she said, reaching in to give Dr. Two-Brains a kiss on the cheek. Two-Brains smiled. "But right now, I think we should take a quick rest to catch our breaths", he said. With that, they all laid down on the grass to take a nap.

Meanwhile, Glen was snooping around the clearing, waiting for them to fall asleep. He noticed that their baskets were filled almost to the brim with apples. "Bingo. Now all I have to do is pilfer the baskets before they wake up", said Glen. He quickly and quietly took the apple baskets and ran off.

In another corner of the orchard, the Botsfords were picking apples on some ladders. Well, most of them were using ladders. Bob the monkey just swung up into the trees and knocked the apples into a basket on the ground, which was held by Becky "Good work, Bob!" said Becky, giving her pet and sidekick a thumbs-up. TJ, however, wasn't as lucky. Every apple he picked turned out to be either rotten or wormy. As he picked what he thought was the one good apple on his tree, he got a small surprise. "Aah! There's a worm in my apple!" he cried. Becky and Bob giggled silently. "Oh, brother", said Becky. Mr. and Mrs. Botsford had just finished filling their basket with apples. "And there. We should have just enough to make our recipe." said Mr. Botsford. "Um, Tim, how about we rest for a little while before heading home. We picked a _looot _of apples!" said Sally. "Good idea", said Tim.

Glen, who was focused on pilfering all of the apples in the orchard so that Two-Brains wouldn't have a chance to pick any replacements, happened upon the Botsfords' apple baskets. Just as he did with the baskets of his former idol, his henchmen, and his girlfriend, he took the baskets and quickly fled the scene.

Thirty minutes later, Two-Brains, his henchmen, and Lady Redundant Woman all woke up. "My, what a refreshing nap", said Dr. Two-Brains. Suddenly, he noticed that something was amiss. "Our apple baskets!" he cried. "Where are they?!" "They disappeared!" said the unnamed henchman. "We've been robbed and ransacked!" said Lady Redundant Woman. "Don't worry, Lady, I think I have a pretty good idea who did this", said Dr. Two-Brains with a stern look on his face. "I smell a rat, and his name is Glen Furlblam!"

At about the same time, the Botsford family woke up to find their baskets missing as well. "Sweet Granny Smith!" exclaimed Mr. Botsford. "Our baskets have been..., they've been..." "Pilfered?" asked Becky. "It means that our baskets have been stolen." "Oh no! Now we have to pick a whole new batch!" said Mr. Botsford. "I think I have a good idea who it might be", mumbled Becky to Bob. "Come on, Huggy. Word up!"

Two-Brains and his party were searching for their missing apple baskets, when WordGirl and Captain Huggyface whizzed by. "Two-Brains, I should have known you and Lady Redundant Woman would be stealing apples!" "What are you talking about, WordGirl? I only steal cheese", said Two-Brains. "And I only steal things that are part of a matching set, an identical assemblage, a similar group", said Lady Redundant Woman. "In fact, _our _apple basket has been stolen, pilfered, and thieved too, so it couldn't have been us."

"Looking for these?" a familiar voice said. It was Glen Furlblam, with a stash of apple baskets next to him. "Glen?!" WordGirl cried. "That's right. I've been pilfering these apples so that Two-Brains, his henchmen, and his girlfriend won't be able to enjoy their precious apple fondue!" "Well, Glen, you were wrong to deny these two, plus some innocent civilians, of some apples. Time for me to bring you to justice!" said WordGirl. Lady Redundant Woman summoned her duplicates to surround Glen, and Two-Brains fired his cheese ray, but Glen dodged the ray's blast by ducking behind a tree. However, Captain Huggyface jumped from the tree to subdue him. "Great job, Huggy", said WordGirl. The simian sidekick smiled and gave his partner a thumbs-up. "And as for your apple baskets", she said, turning to the villains, "here you go." "Thank you, WordGirl", said Dr. Two-Brains. Now we can make our apple fondue.

"You're welcome, guys. Word up!" WordGirl took off, returning to her family (who had no idea that she was their daughter Becky) at their clearing. "I believe these belong to you", she said. "Oh, thank you WordGirl!" said Mr. Botsford, who seemed to be weeping for joy. "Now we can go home and make Old Granny Botsford's Dutch Apple Pie Delight! Thank you!" With that, WordGirl and Huggy soared away, transformed back into Becky and Bob, and walked back to their family. "Hey, guys. What did I miss?" asked Becky. "WordGirl and her gibbon just returned with our apples!" said T.J. "Awesome!"

And so, with some help from two unusual allies, WordGirl saved her family's apple-picking expedition from Glen Furlblam's pilfering, and got to taste some Dutch Apple Pie Delight.

"This is delicious", said Becky at the dinner table. "Thank you. I'll be sure to tell Old Granny Botsford", said Mr. Botsford, smiling.

Dr. Two-Brains also got to share his apple fondue with Lady Redundant Woman.

"Mmm, it's delicious and scrumptious", said Lady Redundant Woman. "Oh, stop", said Two-Brains, blushing. In the background, his henchmen were playing Apples to Apples with two of Lady Redundant Woman's duplicates.

Join us again next time for another chapter of The Very Cheesy Affair!


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